Monday, 19 March 2007

More idiocy relating to sport

For the love of Mike! Is there any chance we might employ a touch of perspective when it comes to Freddie Flintoff's banishment to moral Coventry? Duncan Fletcher commented sternly on the 'serious nature of the incident', Flintoff's name is mud, and everywhere his image has been thrown on the not-so-proverbial bonfire of the insanities. English cricket fans are louts. 100%, solid gold, lager-swilling hoodlums. Somehow they can afford expensive tickets for international sports events, so Dogtooth is assuming - perhaps unreasonably - that when they are not making mini Mexican waves with their penises, they hold down normal, burdensome nine-to-five jobs. Furthermore, a fairly considerable proportion of Britons - the people I'm supposed to give a damn about because we are 'united under a common flag' - (myself not excluded) drink insane quantities on a regular basis and still get up in the morning. Andrew Flintoff is onesuch. But wherefore the sudden puritanical moral outrage? Is he obliged to conduct himself decorously because he is 'a role-model to youngsters', or a 'representative of his country abroad'? Somehow when I think of the poor little ten-year-old boy sobbing quietly into his Flintoff-themed pillowcase, my sympathies remain unextended.

So lets cut to the nut: Flintoff's contract probably contains a clause in which it is stated that he must behave in a manner befitting blah-blah-blah when representing his national team etc. Frankly even that is ridiculous. If he can drink tequila shots all night, almost drown in a pedalo-related incident, and still get up in the morning and bowl 8 wickets (and he's probably done it before!) then good on him. Strong effort. Kudos and post-match naked locker-room Cava-drenched towel fights. Nice. I'd have him for the annual rounders game against Hamilton's formidable Squid XI any day.

Update: Further to the point, I came across this article today, courtesy of the ever-grounded Mick Hume. Finger on the pulse, and all that.

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