Self Cannibalism

This will be a short post, because I can't in good faith write eight hundred words on this subject, but I can think of two ways to increase the number of people giving blood -

1. They put the bag in your lap and let you watch it slowly fill with warm blood that only seconds ago was rushing out of your heart.
2. Half the blood you donate is given back to you in a bottle, and you can take it home to make black pudding or enrich stews. Imagine the surprise of your friends!

Both these options will allow the Blood Service to offer the doner an odd, complicated experiences of real appeal to those of a philosophical bent, and difficult to replicate at home without some effort and risk.

I'll be back tommorow, because I want to talk about Algernon Bastard...

Wait, wait, wait: I wanted to check that I wasn't crazy to think that you could put blood in stews (I wasn't) and I found this. Funny how the less I eat the more I think about food and cooking. The lamb liquor looks like it could be the answer to my prayers.

Pasteboard Masks...

from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.



This program was designed so idiots could see what celebrities they looked like (I did try it on myself, and it said I looked like Johny Depp, which despite my affirmation exercises is quite a long way from the truth), but to stop at that is nothing but a failure of imagination. Who knew, for example, that Beckett looked 83% like himself, and 75% like Roland Barthes, while Richard Dawkins looks 59% like Silvio Berlusconi? Kate Bush looks like Natalie Imbruglia, Halle Berry and Sophie Marceau, among others, which seems about right. John Barth looks 62% like Woody Allen, 61% Gregory Peck, and 46% like Bette Davis.
Most delightful of all was the effect that Hunter S. Thompson and Thomas Pynchon had on the machine. With Thompson the system was unable to locate his face, and when I manually pointed it out it was then claimed that he looked like no-one else in history. Pynchon's photo just couldn't be entered at all.