Many happy returns of the day

Valiant Newtist Merv is 20 today. Merv began his life in the coat-pocket of a consumptive New York con-artist. He fled home aged 12 and emigrated to the UK, earning his passage by washing towels on the steamship. At 13 he began an apprenticeship at a multinational shipbroking firm, under the kindly gaze of a leopard. One year later he was eaten...by the leopard. His funeral was held at Brentwood Cemetary. Attendance was slim.

Happy Birthday, Merv!